1 January 2021
{But|However} as it {turned out|ended up}, the icon who {had|had actually} {come from|originated from} {nothing|absolutely nothing} and {became|ended up being} {everything|whatever} wasn’t as prepared as she {thought|believed} she was to {struggle|battle}. {Instead|Rather}, the possibility of failure {weighed heavily on|taxed} her, and– {predictable|foreseeable} as it was– she {could|might} {sense|notice|pick up} {a certain|a specific|a particular} smugness {between|in between} the lines from {certain|specific|particular} observers who {thought|believed} she ‘d {aimed|intended} {too high|too expensive|expensive} this time.
In 2012, with OWN’s future not {guaranteed|ensured} while she was off shooting The Butler, her {first|very first} live-action {movie|film|motion picture} {role|function} {since|because|considering that|given that} Beloved in 1998, the {stress|tension} {proved|showed} {too much|excessive} and in hindsight Winfrey {realized|recognized|understood} that she was having a breakdown.
“In the {beginning|start}, it was {just|simply} sort of speeding and {a kind of|a type of|a sort of} {numbness|pins and needles|tingling|feeling numb} and going from {one thing|something} to the next thing to the next thing,” she {recalled|remembered} to {Access|Gain access to} Hollywood in 2013 (the year OWN {started|began} {turning a profit|making a profit}). “I will {tell|inform} you when I {realized|recognized|understood} that I {thought|believed}, ‘All right, if I {don’t|do not} {calm down|relax|cool down} I’m gon na {be in|remain in} {serious|major|severe} {trouble|difficulty|problem}.’ I {was in|remained in} the middle of doing voiceovers, you {know|understand}? And I {remember|keep in mind} closing my eyes in between each page {because|since|due to the fact that} {looking at|taking a look at} the page and the words at the {same|exact same|very same} time was {too much|excessive} stimulation for my brain.”
“I {mean|imply|indicate|suggest}, I wasn’t {ready|prepared|all set} to go run naked in the streets,” she {added|included}. “Let’s make that {very|extremely|really} clear. {{But|However} I {had|had actually} reached a point where I {just|simply} {couldn’t|could not} take in {any more|anymore} stimulation.|I {had|had actually} reached a point where I {just|simply} {couldn’t|could not} take in any more stimulation.} OK? That’s what I {meant|implied|indicated|suggested} by that.”
She acknowledged on Watch What {Happens|Occurs|Takes Place} Livein 2013, {talking about|discussing|speaking about} OWN’s {initial|preliminary} low {ratings|scores|rankings}, “{Nobody|No one} was more {surprised|stunned|shocked} than I {was about|had to do with} that.” {{But|However}, she continued, “You {have to|need to} {hunker down|hunch down}.|She continued, “You have to hunker down.} There’s no such thing as failure: it’s God {telling|informing} you to {move in|relocate} another {direction|instructions} … All these years I{‘ve| have actually} been {telling|informing} {people|individuals} to hang in there, to {hold on|hang on} to their dreams, be {steadfast|unfaltering} in their vision … and I went, ‘Oh, now I get to {walk|stroll} that walk, and not {just|simply} talk it.'”
Winfrey {also|likewise} {said|stated} to {People|Individuals} ofthe experience, “Failure is {a great|a fantastic|a terrific|an excellent} {teacher|instructor}. I {knew|understood} this intellectually. {{But|However} it’s another thing if you’re living it.”|It’s another thing if you’re living it.”} Graham, who {had|had actually} {written down|jotted down|made a note of|documented} the name “Oprah Winfrey Network” all the {way|method} back in 1992, was {supportive|helpful|encouraging} in all {the right ways|the proper ways|properlies}, {telling|informing} her, “‘You can’t even {think about|consider|think of} {quitting|stopping|giving up} … You {have|have actually} {been in|remained in} cruise control. It’s gon na {turn around|reverse}, {but|however} you{‘ve| have actually} got ta do the work.'”
Source: eonline.com